I was living in a little bedsit at the top of Devon Street overlooking the city
Just me and my little Batgirl cat who was called Rhonda
I had broken up again with my girlfriend who I still cared for
We couldn’t be together anymore we had been poisoning each other
Old mister standby got called again
Went to the place and was amazed
To see who was there
There was a phone call and I was summoned
Walking across town I started writing the song in my head
Her voice had sounded strange and there was a sense of foreboding
Feel like a stranger in my own place
Fixed in the wings with a grin
Seeing you there
So I went back to the house we had shared in the good years
There was a party going on and a new sinister presence
She wasn’t alone anymore she was off with her new lover in a separate room
Welcome to the part where we weep Nellie
Knowing that the scars run so deep
Knowing it would all end in tears
For me
The house seemed to be filled with strangers and I was in over my head
Everyone was drunk and I felt shot through
This guy could only hurt her but anything I thought of to say sounded only like sour grapes even in my own head
It had happened to me before that an ex had gone on to an abusive relationship
I said I had to find you went and asked around
All they could say was you were free
To do as you will
I couldn’t stay there so I went hope and wrote the rest of the words and the long sad guitar solos
A great wave of sorrow and helplessness in a song
And it started a spiral that was never going to end well
When all the good breaks down with someone and you find yourself in a cold world
Every time I try to be a better man
I fall on my face in the wind
Seeing you there
It’s a small town and we would run into each other
She didn’t stay with him long but we were both still going through difficult times looking for love in the wrong places
And there is a sadness that has stayed and I evoke it every time I play the song
It’s fairly dark but people get it and we’ve recorded a raw sweeping version of it on our new album
A song about remembering what love was like
Welcome to the part where we weep Nellie
Knowing that the scars run so deep
Knowing it would all end in tears
For me
The Ghost of Electricity – War Stories by Jon McLeary is a new initiative at Off The Tracks, a series of stories and reflections from painter, writer and musician Jon McLeary
To read any of the first 167 in the series click here