I was living in a little bedsit at the top of Devon Street overlooking the city

Just me and my little Batgirl cat who was called Rhonda

I had broken up again with my girlfriend who I still cared for

We couldn’t be together anymore we had been poisoning each other

Old mister standby got called again

Went to the place and was amazed

To see who was there

There was a phone call and I was summoned

Walking across town I started writing the song in my head

Her voice had sounded strange and there was a sense of foreboding

Feel like a stranger in my own place

Fixed in the wings with a grin

Seeing you there

So I went back to the house we had shared in the good years

There was a party going on and a new sinister presence

She wasn’t alone anymore she was off with her new lover in a separate room

Welcome to the part where we weep Nellie

Knowing that the scars run so deep

Knowing it would all end in tears

For me

The house seemed to be filled with strangers and I was in over my head

Everyone was drunk and I felt shot through

This guy could only hurt her but anything I thought of to say sounded only like sour grapes even in my own head

It had happened to me before that an ex had gone on to an abusive relationship

I said I had to find you went and asked around

All they could say was you were free

To do as you will

I couldn’t stay there so I went hope and wrote the rest of the words and the long sad guitar solos

A great wave of sorrow and helplessness in a song

And it started a spiral that was never going to end well

When all the good breaks down with someone and you find yourself in a cold world

Every time I try to be a better man

I fall on my face in the wind

Seeing you there

It’s a small town and we would run into each other

She didn’t stay with him long but we were both still going through difficult times looking for love in the wrong places

And there is a sadness that has stayed and I evoke it every time I play the song

It’s fairly dark but people get it and we’ve recorded a raw sweeping version of it on our new album

A song about remembering what love was like

Welcome to the part where we weep Nellie

Knowing that the scars run so deep

Knowing it would all end in tears

For me

The Ghost of Electricity – War Stories by Jon McLeary is a new initiative at Off The Tracks, a series of stories and reflections from painter, writer and musician Jon McLeary

To read any of the first 167 in the series click here