I climbed the mountain. Dragged myself up and over it. Big achievement. The guy from the local paper was there. Big grin, stupid little microphone-thing clipped onto his smart-phone. Asks a dumb question. Goes: What are you going to do next? And I go Next? Next? Ask me about what I’ve just fucking done, you dumb cunt! And he goes, mate, there’s no need for that. And besides you’ve done it. We all read your blog, and your tweets and your Facebook and so what we want to know is what’s next? And so I said: Bed. And in I got. And then he got in alongside me. I felt his hand on my balls, and just the lightest squeeze. As I tried to sleep. Tried to forget. Tried to think of anything. Including, for fucks sake: What’s next?!

(w/ thanks to Gaylene Preston)