Ted DiBiase was “The Million Dollar Man”,
a pro-wrestling bad-guy (a “heel”) that fought
in matches with the likes of Hulk Hogan
and Randy Savage and Andre The Giant,
people wealthier than DiBiase; “Multi-Million Dollar Men”
But DiBiase was one hell of a bad guy.
He had the best finisher too:
The Million Dollar Dream – a cobra clutch-styled sleeper submission
hold. He’d put blue-collar joes to bed with it.
And then the final insult – the pay-off:
He’d shove a filthy bank-note – $100 – in their gobs. Take that!
And just in case you didn’t think he was a millionaire,
to prove it he was accompanied to the ring by his own bodyguard,
Virgil. Even though DiBiase would then get in the ring and ‘fight’.
He was the best bad-guy.
Well, one of. Him and The Honky Tonk Man
and a bit later on, Mr. Perfect.
They were masters at getting the crowd to really hate them.
It almost seemed like
they actually really didn’t care –
or at least, decided to wear the boos and hisses like
a badge of honour.
DiBiase had three sons to two different women.
All three of them are – or were – wrestlers.
Around the time I gave up watching wrestling
(the first time)
The Million Dollar Man formed a tag-team called
“Money Incorporated” (“Money Inc.)
His partner was a guy
called Irwin R. Schyster
or “I.R.S” (geddit? – too good, right?)
Just as DiBiase is remembered as one of the better
ever bad-guys, Schyster was one of the worst.
How do you ever go about transcending the name Irwin
R. Shyster, and the initials – I.R.S and then stepping into the
ring in a shirt and tie, carrying a briefcase with your important
Ted DiBiase’s theme tune – and catchphrase – told us that everybody
has a price…
Given his interests: essentially pretending something that’s not real
is totally real – and all the while boasting about the money
he was earning, of all that he was worth – it is perhaps
no great shock at all that DiBiase – the best ever bad-guy
became a Christian minister.
But what ever happened to Virgil?
I read a thing that said he was out there
flogging tickets, pretending to fight The Million
Dollar man. People would turn up and just find
Virgil. A virtual nobody. And no sign
of The Million Dollar Man