It had been three or four years but it had only felt like three or four months – because she’s been everywhere, hadn’t seen a diamond (in the flesh) and then started wearing them to all the awards shows and TV appearances because irony is just some other scene that you’ve seen or dreamed or thought you might have never been. Bought houses, ditched being a teenager – even though she made her name on being one; by being one. And then the Green Light. The new song. Diamonds have flesh. Cities have veins. And now rumours have big gnashing teeth. Cue 90s piano arranged by Serj Tankian. Time to take a taxi ride with Paul Henry. Fiesta! Better fuck the roof of the car. Awkward-dance down the street, out the car window, into the loo, back on the roof, awkward-dance everywhere. It’s an anthem. A goodamn anthem! The guy in the Herald says, after hearing it once, it’s better than Katy Perry. High Bar! Better even than Gaga. Cut to YouTube reaction video – because where (else) is the truth. And a guy, hearing it once, says it best, says it loud, says it proud, makes as much sense as he can: “She’s like that friend that you hang out with and you’re like, ‘I love you’.” And so that’s the big news today. Our little girl is all growsd up. The new song is the new song isn’t the same as the old song. It’s the best ever. Best in America. Best from New Zealand. It’s unbelievable. It’s great, really great, really a great, great song. It gets the green light. It gets to go. It’s the future of music – but you heard it today! What could possibly happen tomorrow with you and your new best friend?