Incredibly Hot Sex With Hideous People – it’s a ‘zine you can scoop up around Wellington; put together by Bryce Galloway (aka Mr. Pudding, aka DJ $1 Record; I first knew him through his work as part of The Wendyhouse).
There are over 60 issues of it but the one I fondly recall is Issue 34, it’s called Meeting Famousness – where Galloway, with help from contributors, collates sets of stories geared around meeting famous people, bumping into them. There are random sightings, strange stories, funny quips.
I went to WOMAD in 2008. I was being a groupie for the Village of the Idiots, so got an all-access pass and could hang out with the cool kids. I was waiting for the artists’ shuttle back to the hotel late one night with a bunch of people and someone was playing the ukulele. It was completely dark, so I couldn’t see who it was. They were singing that Anika Moa song Dreams In My Head, but making it silly, like “I have all these poos up my bum” or something. I said “far out, that sounds heaps better than the original!” The chick stopped singing and yells out “fuck up, bitch!” It was Anika Moa.
So I picked through the rest of the issue looking for stories relating to musicians. There was the tale of New Zealand cricket legend Ewen Chatfield running a teen over with his courier van in Tawa in 1988, as told by Stephen Clover (“He was long gone before I got over my surprise, as well as the awe associated with being knocked over by Ewen Chatfield, and realized that my leg was quite badly hurt and my bike was fucked”).
But I had to find the music ones…and there were some…
Like Galloway’s story about Pavement: “At the start of the 90s I saw Pavement at Auckland’s Powerstation. Later that night I turned up at the same party as the band. I got to meet Stephen Malkmus. I told him to get out of my chair, which he did”.
There’s a good story in there where someone sees Nick Cave in Tokyo; is star-struck and tells a group of friends. They, not knowing – or caring – who Cave is, start yelling “hey Nick, hey Nick!” The person is mortified as Nick Cave smiles in their direction.
So, it’s a fun read and if you can find the ‘zine, I recommend it. That issue, which I still have, came with a free CD, My Life With Madonna. Some interestingly arranged derangements of Madonna songs.
I recently shared my story about Paul Kelly. Well my wife Katy has a story too…I’m not sure she’d ever tell it herself. So, here goes…
We attended a Ben Lee concert.
Ben Lee had released the Awake Is The New Sleep album which was well received. And some of his earlier songs (Cigarettes Will Kill You) are good fun too. So we were keen enough to check out the gig (and besides, in my case, it was work). When the show finished, Lee waited around to sign autographs and meet people.
My wife, not normally the keen-bean in such situations, decided (after a few bowls of loudmouth soup) to head up to Ben Lee and say hi. She did not have a CD for him to sign. She was not buying a t-shirt. No. She had something more important to say.
“I wrote a short story about you”, she explained. He made something like a fish gulp movement and dry-throated a reply along the lines of oo-kayyyy. And that was it.
The thing is she hadn’t actually written a story about Ben Lee, she had just written a story after listening to his album a wee bit. It had been the trigger I guess, or maybe the inspiration. But, clamming up in the face of celebrity (and after the loudmouth soup left her with an in but no out) Katy had, erm, blown it.
So I’m thinking – more of the stories like Katy’s and less of the stories like mine (with Paul Kelly).
But if you have made a bit of a fool of yourself – in front of a famous musician – then by all means feel proud here in sharing the story.
But, also, has a famous musician made a fool of themselves in front of you? Or have you totally flipped your lid and become the moisty-palmed mouth-breather you never thought you were when you caught a glimpse of a celeb?
But have you been in a situation where you couldn’t or didn’t hold it together? Share your best/worst/silliest stories of hanging with the famous ones. Have you partied hard with a famous musician? Or clammed up asking for an interview? Were you invited out for drinks? Did you fluke tagging along with an entourage at a bar? Were you given free tickets because you served a musician in a store or restaurant? Or did you just wish you plucked the courage up to cross the street because you saw someone famous mooching about, but in the end you couldn’t do it?
What are your tales of Meeting Famousness?