Lorde
The Love Club EP
Universal Music
Any article that tells you anything about Lorde – and really what is there to know, ultimately? – feels like hype transliterated. She’s 16 don’t you know? Well, actually, we do know because everyone tells us. She made this music in her bedroom at home – alone, went the original lie. Then it was about how she was signed to a development deal at Universal at age 14, 13, 12, 11…the real truth is her parents were married at Universal Music’s headquarters located in the burning fires of hell somewhere and all the expenses were paid for them, Neil Finn played at the ceremony at half his usual fee. All they had to do was give up their daughter. And they did.
And they have.
Now it’s personal. It’s about a 16 year old girl. It’s not about the music. And it’s never been about music. Her songs are itching to appear on American TV shows and movies. Think big and all that – but this is about anything other than a high school girl doing her best, being talented. This is a scam. We’re all being played. The way we get played any time pop music actually sticks for a bit. Or when we’re told via Tweets what we must next consume.
Except I don’t get the buzz around this EP at all – sorta extraordinary to think that Lorde has gone on to appear on Billboard covers and play Jools Holland and whatever else. Hey, good on her, if that’s what she wants – and I’m sure she doesn’t even know what she wants – that’s all fine if fame is what you are after.
But that fruit tree will die.
And if it went tomorrow would we care about these songs?
Bravado is just this year’s Florence & The Machine. Remember what happened there when the smoke and mirrors stayed still for too long? There might even be a hint of Lana del Rey about it – and if that’s not the cruellest thing you can say about anything wanting to be music then I don’t know what is.
I get that Royals has something of a hook – a memorable chorus I guess. But is it really all that memorable? And by what standard? It’s still an empty-gesture song to me. Even if it’s the best thing here.
Million Dollar Bills is certainly nothing. The title song doesn’t mean anything at all either – it could be anything. But what it’s missing, like all of Lorde’s music to date, is anything to make you listen to it on its own merit, away from the talent-contest suggestion, the media hype, the sad, misplaced jingoism of it. She’s not making music for New Zealand by the way! (That in itself isn’t actually a bad thing, but it’s why a lot of the coattail riders are hanging on). And then it’ll come back to She’s sixteen man! And wait and see what she goes on to do! And at least she’s doing something?! What are you doing?!
What I’m doing is never listening to this again – because I don’t see or hear anything special in it at all. The closing remix of Bravado would have almost suggested that ideas were at an early stand-still but then the Tennis Court song arrived – post-EP – and there was a video to help it. And then there was all this near-cowardice about how she was classy and totally stood for anything that Miley Cyrus wasn’t and so on.
Actually all Tennis Court is – really – is another here-today/gone-tomorrow song. And this 16 year old is still being sexualised in the selling of her music – it’s just to dudes that wank over Farmers lingerie catalogues rather than being honest and hiring porn.
I don’t get the buzz behind this – and worse than that I smell something fishy. I mean, it’s all out in the open now that there were producers and songwriters and studios behind all of this, it ain’t no bedsit pop. But there’s something else – some other part of the story yet to come. Some final twist in the manipulation.
Not sure I’m even interested in trying to unearth the rest of this scam. It’s far more rewarding trying to find music that might last, music that isn’t this.
But we’ve already got people pulling out that sad old chestnut about it being good for New Zealand and to get off her case – she’s doing something, she’s trying! and all that sad old shit.
This is just an average wee EP – and because she has long hair and a flavour of the month pop song and a carefully manicured faux-mystique people want to see and hear more than they are actually seeing and hearing.
She’ll be big for a year – on the back of a year of bubbling-under. And then done. Gone.
Holy shit – the real horror is yet to come anyway. For soon she’ll be seventeen! Game over.
What will people write about then? Anything but the music of course. So the articles will all start by announcing she first made waves when she was 16…no, 15, no 14…13…12…
She might as well be Miley Cyrus.
There really isn’t all that much that’s different.
Finally, someone telling it like it is. Lorde is rubbish and well done Simon for saying so.
I’m trying really hard to not Tall Poppy out on this girl. I will just say, I don’t care for her music, I find it bland and uninspired, the kind of crap people who hate music fall all over. But I’m not gona hassle a sixteen year old child, so yeah, whatevs, *neeeeext*
it’s funny, i’ve heard a number of people (who don’t have the most diverse tastes in music) say it’s nothing special, bland, uninspired, they don’t get it.
really, it’s not my cup of tea either, i listen to all sorts of crazy-arsed stuff, get out to see live and local music most weekends, and there are a pile of things I’d rather listen to …but i can certainly appreciate it, and it is surprising good *particularly* given how sparse and simple the overall aesthetic is.
“Royals” insinuates its hooks quite effectively and after a while you notice that the singer/lyricist may be callow but she’s also pretty smart. Her fellow teens seem to think so too, which I gather is the general idea. Could be a fluke, could be someone knows what they’re doing.
Lol. Get back to media monitoring.
REVIEW THE FUCKING WORK NOT THE HYPE YOU PIECE OF SHIT
I think what he said is that there’s basically nothing there to review. It’s consumerist pulp.
learn to think laterally dickhead. the hype is part of it. when was the last time you read a review of pop music that addressed the cadence of the third stanza?
this is as much about you pigeon holing sweetman into what you think a music writer should be as it is about your inability to find the capslock key.
no actually it’s not, although i apologise for my over usage of caps in my first comment. sweetman’s review irritated me not because he failed to address “the cadence of the third stanza”; it got to me because he chose to attack the girl herself/the hype/her age rather than the work itself. I’m not even a huge fan of lorde’s, and yet I find myself on this blog fighting for her because this review is so ridiculously unfair.
go and read it again. look at the big picture of what Sweetman’s addressing. his main objection is to it being forced down his throat, being told she’s the next big thing. I’m with sweetman on this. I resent that. it puts me off. He does address her work. He finds it a bit dull. I think her work is standard. Calm down NZ. she’s fine pop fodder. is it art? probably not. yay nz we got someone to notice us, boo nz you throw away your taste and jump on the bandwagon. Why should sweetman change his taste and standards just cos she’s from here. if she was this hyped and from overseas he’d say the same stuff.
Fascinating. I’d never heard of her until about a week ago.
My objection to the article is the pearl-clutching about her being “sexualised” in the videos. Yeah, no.
Miley Cyrus is an internationally successful popstar, excelling at what she loves and what she does well. It’s very kind of you to wish that level of achievement and success for Lorde.
enjoy your diet of sugar and high fructose corn syrup. you get what you ask for and you’ll get what you deserve.
Cyrus got the opportunity to do what she does because her dad was a rich, successful and connected musician. Don’t kid yourself. eat up.
Conspiracy theorist much?
I understand your critique of the culture she’s been absorbed and manipulated in to, but could you re-write this review and actually engage with the songs themselves? I enjoy your writing most of the time, and I can appreciate that pop music is always connected to these broader aspects of culture generally – but can’t you take your own advice and actually critique the songs themselves?
Can’t you read?
“I get that Royals has something of a hook – a memorable chorus I guess.
But is it really all that memorable? And by what standard? It’s still an
empty-gesture song to me. Even if it’s the best thing here.”
“Million Dollar Bills is certainly nothing.”
“Actually all Tennis Court is – really – is another here-today/gone-tomorrow song.”
etc etc, he talks about the songs for what he thinks they’re worth and for no extra cost contemplates the environment they’re delivered in.
so those one-liners are your idea of criticism?
maybe it’s all its worth. The bigger issue is the overhype while being told it’s not hype. Why do you think simon’s personal blog is a review?. it’s what ever he wants to write about.
So the hyperbole created by others is her fault. Now that really is a childish attitude.
Those who can’t make music – write about it. But this post shows you can’t really do that well either. And so what if she only lasts a year? A year spent touring the world, making music and having a real life. Not sitting in an office in Grey Lynn feeling sorry for herself… like a “reporter”…
If I were 16 and touring the world doing what I love – I wouldn’t even give a rats arse about your opinion. And so what if her career lasts a year? What a year it would have been. I applaud her.
What else could she be doing? Writing derogatory gutter based blog posts while sitting in Grey Lynn trying to prove to the world that she knows better than everyone else?
Those who make good music do. And they travel the world doing it. Those who can’t – write miserable and horrible stories about someone they don’t know and probably haven’t even met.
and those who spend their time reading shit they hate and wasting their time commenting on it look like dickheads. Hello dickhead
Those who can make music.. Do. And travel the world doing so.
Those who can’t write about it.
Those who can’t make music or write well – do it here.
‘Nuff said.
its a product. it should be critiqued.
Actually I make music on a daily basis. Through hard work I have acquired the equipment i.e instruments and recording gear etc, but I feel a need to point out that re the traveling the world statement, that’s just not true at all. Only musicians who can afford it are capable of doing so. It costs money, (obviously,) to travel the world making music. I know A LOT of indy musicians who dream of traveling the world making music but struggle with the costs. I have actually played in a variety of countries circa 2006 and 2004. Places like Hungary, Ireland, Germany, Netherlands, but I was sponsored. Most musicians I know personally, are poor, and barely even heard of let alone jet-setting around the world making music.
Now I’m sure you just wrote this to be ~controversial~ and to get a few extra hits to your irrelevant little music blog, right? Because you surely couldn’t be serious with an argument this flawed. Being outraged that this pop artist is a “scam”?! Right, because building a brand, hype, and image that will sell is DEFINITELY not what pop music is about.
What a terrible review. Doesn’t review the songs and the album, rather the hype and ‘character’ of Lorde. What you aren’t acknowledging is that Lorde and her music are something new and exciting – we haven’t really heard anything like it in the 21st Century. It is alternative, something this reviewer obviously doesn’t understand the concept of. I think Lorde will go far, if (and only if) she can keep up the quality of her music from her EP. Based on the live/free concert, she certainly can. The music was great, the audience loved it, and her live performances are mesmerizing to watch. Cynical and inconsiderate review.
what a terrible reader you are. it’s an ep or mini album, oh, and then you get it right later so maybe it’s just your muddled little head that’s the problem. he does address the music and finds it lacking, and it’s as much an article about the hype of music and the fails there of. and shut the fuck up about destined for success and she’ll go far. you’ll make me puke if you insist on ramming that hard load down my throat. my gag reflex is not as good as yours obviously.
http://www.universalclass.com/i/course/reading-comprehension-101.htm
actually, he does review each song
The only difference is Miley Cyrus is in complete control of every aspect of her career and is worth 150 million.
“There might even be a hint of Lana del Rey about it – and if that’s not the cruellest thing you can say about anything wanting to be music then I don’t know what is.”
Changed your tune – didn’t you declare one of her songs the best of the year or something?
No – quite the opposite.
Two names: Kate Bush (carefully held onto by her record on retainer for the first few years), Taylor Swift (yes, her often slut-shaming lyrics are problematic, but no denying the talent).
No way Taylor Swift! The day I heard her mutilate Don Henley’s “Boys Of Summer” live I realized she should be shot on sight for crimes against music. Lords shows promise, regardless of how she was thrust upon us. She might be gone tomorrow, but I hope she grows and delivers.
Yes, Taylor Swift is a, er, limited singer, but I totally rate her as a songwriter. To write ‘Love Story’ at, what, 16? It may be trite but you can see the talent.
Wow. That’s pretty harsh, Simon. And while you are pefectly entitled to your opinion of the music, the contempt and cynisicsm you convey about the young woman and the people surrounding her is extraordinary. Yes, she’s 16 – and there’s not much you can write about a young woman who’s 16 and lives at home with her parents and makes music that sells – other than that. If you’e bored with that story, she doesn’t have another one. Is that her fault? I certainly didn’t have much of a back story at 16. There are a number of young women prodigees who have grown and developed as artists (and people) and there’s nothing to stop Lorde doing that. Take your gloves off and go for the jugular with coke raddled artists who have abused and squandered their talent – not young women who have achieved success beyond what they ever imagined and may still have a long way to go. Wanking over a Farmers catalogue – really? In a review of a teenager’s music? Says more about you than her EP.
he’s attacking the hype machine. Why can’t you read?
here – sign up quick
http://www.universalclass.com/i/course/reading-comprehension-101.htm
Actually he is attacking her, He has no proof she did not write the lyrics while in her room at home. Don’t say he stated music, it makes no difference.
Ok, it took me a while to get here, mercifully. The esteemed Mr. Sweetman is amply rebutted in http://www.fasterlouder.com.au/headliners/lorde/index.html , where he comes up in passing, leading me here. Whoever this Sweetman guy is, I don’t imagine I’ll be reading his dross again any time soon.
Of course we all know what Sweetmeat’s game is; Lorde is his ticket out of his mother’s basement.
Lorde had the best reply in the Faster Louder article
When Sweetman posted the review Ella was asleep in Paris, having just played ‘Royals’ on French television. She messaged me the following morning. “I read it, and then looked at the Arc de Triomphe from the window of my hotel room, and felt nothing at all.”
back under the bridge troll…
Sad Man, leave thr Girl alone, I love that song, it’s catchy and I need good songs to do my physical therapy excersises to and Royals is one of them. How about encouraging your Country’s Artists instead of dissing them as it is hard for NZers to achieve things especially overseas and when we do, it’s awesome
wah wah, wah wah wah wah wah.
it’s a critique on hype and the hypeds failing to live up to it. learn to read
i find the comment about hiring porn a bit non-contemporaneous.
she sings about cadillacs and the videos couldnt be placed any where in particular, this is some cynical globalised pop strategy.sweet dollar dollar bill ya’ll
Wrong.
creepy
Who me? Nah.
Review coming from someone who probably spent a large amount of their life rubbing one out to Farmers catalogues…and I don’t mean Farmers the store.
Maybe you could all give up your day jobs as music reviewer reviewers and let the man say what he thinks, seeing as how that’s just what he does. You don’t have to like it. Go buy the damn EP if that’s what you want to do. Or don’t. If it’s an irrelevant blog wtf are you doing reading it? Jeeesh it’s not like it’s compulsory.
Man, someone needs to chill a bit, the point of a blog is to agree or disagree with the reviewer, on this post I agree with the reviewer, it appears some other people dont, there is nothing wrong with that. Maybe your being over sensitive?
many of these comments attack sweetman for being a jealous failed musician or for not reviewing the music. He does review the music. he mentions songs and discusses them. but he also addresses the issue he feels most disturbed about with lorde, and that is the hype of telling us she’s not hyped, of having music rammed down your throat forcefully by pr articles instead of the more pleasant way of consuming at your leisure. Sweetman objects to that and maybe you do too? so many people are mis-reading this as an attack on the girl rather than the hype machine and lorde’s inability to live up to to it. That’s a music creation concern, some people like their music created pure, not with a team of pr and board room execs calculating what you the listener will be stimulated by enough to open your wallets and purses.
Sweetman’s getting slammed because people have poor reading comprehension, an inability to understand the point of what they’re reading. Maybe he could have written it ‘better’ for a lower reading comprehension level perhaps, I understood it just fine. I don’t see it as hate filled against lorde, it’s against the machine that hypes her.
I wasnt attacking Simon,at all, and I agree I hate music that is just all PR also, music should be raw, and you should be able to see whats inside the artist’s heart, something you dont get with made up pop bands.
This is best riposte to this terrible review. Time to take a good look in mirror Simon. http://publicaddress.net/hardnews/friday-music-history-motherfuckers/#comments
great reading. Russell Brown utterly destroys Simon’s flimsy review and its (lack of) arguments.
hahaha, don’t think so. All Brown does is establish that he has a vested interest in this through his association with all the players on Lorde’s side. He’s personal friends with the family, and the record label. The question is why does a 50 something year old guy who finishes his sentences with the word ‘much’, and dresses like a teenager care so much about one pop star career? He gets paid $400 to write the music column each week by the Audience and him and his followers sit there criticising Sweetman’s review which is done of his own back and his passion for writing about music, whether you agree with what he says or not. It’s to Sweetman’s credit that he does not engage in debate or justification over what he writes with these self grandising over reacting imaginary high brow past it pontiffs. Brown’s just jealous he has no where near the interest in his 30 year music writing career that Sweetman has managed to cultivate in 1/4 the time.
If you think there were a lack of aguments presented here then you didn’t understand what he was saying. He’s addressing commercialisation and corporate interest in the music we are presented with, did I say presented, in Lorde’s case we are close to being force fed it, and don’t you dare say you don’t like it cos look what happens to you, traitor.
If anything Public Address are guilty of the small town mentality that they accuse Sweetman of with their talk of tall poppy.
THIS is a riposte.
http://coffeenewsguru.tumblr.com/
True – Simon Sweetman is well hated, both for hating live events and reviews. The real reason, besides his juvenile, tasteless sense of insecurity is simply that he’s fat and pop music is a target for his contempt, since pop’s been about sexual allure and relationships since, oh, about 1955.
People compare him to Paul Henry because he’s a hate-magnet; the difference is that Henry is paid tens of thousands of dollars a month, while Simon Sweetman lived largely off his partners income, whilst struggling as a ‘rock journalist’ from, I think, New Plymouth or somewhere.
He doesn’t even have an industry background or any great journalism in any other field that I know of; he played in a crap covers band for a while somewhere out of Wellington, I think.
“If you think there were a lack of aguments presented here then you didn’t understand what he was saying. He’s addressing commercialisation and corporate interest in the music we are presented with,”
^^
This is mind bogglingly idiotic. Excuse us for asking that a review might present arguments about the music itself.
who told you it was a review. it’s a blog post. it’s what ever simon wants to write about. he’s not paid for this blog. it’s his own space for him to write at his leisure about anything he wants. No one’s forcing you to red it and no one told you this was a review.
He writes so many hateful, off topic reviews that he’s attracted a following of people that basically hate him. That’s what goes on outside of his personal blog.
Firstly, always get your facts straight before you delve so deeply into such a strange state of bitterness.
It is people like you that we don’t even want to listen to Lorde’s music.
Lastly, you must be very bitter and jealous as you can’t even write a mature music review!
You are able to have your own opinion but don’t bag on someone else’s success.
Jealously will get you nowhere.
Simon Sweetman, you have got alot to learn. Let’s hope you are 11, 12, 13, 14 ,15??
and, yet, you, quote, him
guest, your a fuckwit. get off your ass and do something good instead of trawling through others comments and putting your miserable 2 cents in. go walk through some long grass and pretend that no one gives a shit, it will make you happier…./
did I hurt your feelings by addressing people’s incorrect and misguided assumptions? I’m sorry, I’ll try not to be right next time or you, could, try, not, to , be , wrong…………………
You win the award for being most infected by the tall poppy syndrome……. good one…..
“Off the tracks” – is that because you don’t talk about the tracks? To be honest most of the time people like you write articles like this to ride the coat tails of an artists success and all you want to do is stir up an audience that loves this artist….. probably because you can’t write a decent music review to save yourself!
Simon Sweetman is a joke, he writes nothing of substance, ever. Sad miserable little man sitting behind his computer putting down people that are actually out there making something of themselves while he will only ever be a loser.
and, yet, you, read, him
And, yet, you, are, a, troll.
you’re the one with pointy ears and bad skin
Re: everybody who is saying “those who can’t, write” etc kind of nonsense: “There is a standard answer to this old idiocy of if-you-know-so-much-about-the-art-of-the-film-why-don’t-you-make-movies. You don’t have to lay an egg to know if it tastes good.”- Pauline Kael
Oh dear. So so so predictable. This piece of writing is why, despite your desperate attempts to be taken seriously as a music critic, you’re still nothing more than a B-grade blogger. Yes, we’ll hear the same old “I’m entitled to my opinion” argument and yes, of course you are entitled to your opinion. But to me, it seems that you are so incensed by the hype that surrounds Lorde, you’re no longer able to actually give readers a fair and honest review of her music. That’s not to say you should love this EP Simon, because we all know music is subjective. But, when critiquing crosses into such patronising nasty bullshit, you have to question what’s really behind it. Because let’s face it, you were always to hate this. You were always going to completely rubbish it. You made your mind up before you even heard it. For what it’s worth, I think Royals is a masterpiece. There’s only one reason why this song is doing so well in the US charts and that’s because it’s a f***ing good song and because people love it. Not because of the so-called conspiracy you suggest. You’re paranoid.
sweetman doesn’t desperately attempt anything, he just does it, gets off his admittedly large arse and writes. you’re more than welcome to try it yourself some time. why do you think sweetman has to write the article you want him to? he’s reviewing the hype, he does address the music and finds it bland. Why can’t you read?
http://www.universalclass.com/i/course/reading-comprehension-101.htm
sign up here. you need it.
You must be sucking his cock, we got a keyboard warrior here haha.
Simon Sweetman you are a douche bag! Lorde is a beautiful teenage girl with a shit load of talent, does it really matter that her parents helped her climb the success ladder……..dont be jealous just because you cant make music, sing or write reviews for that matter! Time Simon Sweetman got a real job!
I hate people who throw the talent tag around like it’s some defined quantity that everyone sees the same way.
I hate people who throw the talent jealous music writer wants to be a musician schtick around. it’s lazy. simon wants to be a music writer, have you not read him saying so constantly.
Your opinion is irrelevant Simon because you, are a fucking loser.
This is like a Pitchfork article (but poorly written) – but with comments on!
Go suck a baby boomer’s dick sweatpants. stick to fucking firehouse you bogan know nothing cunt
Sweetman says “She made this music in her bedroom at home – alone, went the original lie” no Simon, that’s just BS and shows you have no clue about what you’re writing about. As for your comment about that 16 being sexualised for her music, nah that’s just your perverse fantasy, wankstain.
What a fat old failed muso tosspot. Hey it’s my opinion and I’m entitled, right.
I’ve read many articles that infer that she makes music in her bedroom so maybe you’re just not as up on it as you think. It may or may not be true but that’s the nature of hype. She may not be disseminating it but her pr company are on her behalf. this is more an attack on the hype of music than it is on her or her music. take a reading course and you’ll maybe be able to pick those details up better on a first skim through read.
And your opinion doesn’t matter or we’d be reading your comment on your own blog and replying to it there, and we’re not.
If their opinion doesn’t matter, why did you write that response?
so they would be able to put their dull dull views into perspective. I’m helpful like that.
You seem awfully interested in their “dull dull’ views.
huh, sorry, what were you saying, I was paying attention to something relevant for a second there, now, back to you………..
You mean for a second there you *weren’t* pathetically defending Sweetman? Good for you! Progress.
oh dear, you really are bad at reading, I’ll explain for you, when I said back to you I was meaning I’d diverted my attention away from the interesting and relevant things in life back to you, inferring that you were irrelevant and yes, a boring. see how language works to convey meaning. It’s great is’t it. keep practicing, you’ll get the hang of it.
“…inferring that you were irrelevant and yes, a boring. see how language works”
Haha you’re adorable!
you’ve ‘read’ many articles that ‘infer’ and you call that evidence, and then call me on my comprehension ability….hahaha..good one…
Wow this is awesome. Nice stuff Simon. I’m not sure of the story of how this success came about but I think the comments below prove your point that there is a lot of people wanting her to be something. And when you weigh that up with what you can actually hear there’s a massive gap.
The background of singer/songwriters is important because it gives you an insight into the narrative of their music. There’s a nifty little hook about being a disaffected teen and that’s all 16 year old’s can sing about. So yes, the push comes down to her age. KT Tunstall’s line was that the only people she knew of who could write decent songs before the age of 25 were Bob Dylan and Kate Bush.
Or how about this girl.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nUz34iQDuU
Is there a female singer/songwriter who has gotten close to Alanis in the last 20 years? Why is that? There was so much to young women during this time that made them so complex, independent and interesting. They defined themselves rather than letting the media or music studios do it for them. Alanis, with a number of others, embodied that.
Do we really think this 16 year old girl is rolling back the momentum lost since then as some sort of anti-Miley/Avril/Britney, with 1 song from within her bedroom, or do we think that as a 16 year old with one catchy hook she is just another studio machination? And the metaphor about the Farmer’s catalogue is hilarious. It’s music; there’s meant to be some pain.
Wow, what an evil slob you are.. Forget the lithium that day or something man….
“Hur you musta forgot your meds” is a lazy punchline.
Such a poorly written review. Great writers see past the hype and find good music whatever way it comes to their attention. Sweetman is always adversely affected by hype and its appearance tends to inspire his worst work, regardless of the music itself. He can’t mount a real argument, and can’t get his head around basic deconstruction of a pop song (so he just never even tries). Ninety percent of his writing boils down to “bloggers/the idiotic masses will tell you this is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and I’m here to tell you it’s certainly NOT”… while failing to actually articulate intelligently why it’s not. “What I’m doing is never listening to this again – because I don’t see or hear anything special in it at all.” Well, that’s all very well and good, but to be a critic you have to be able to articulate exactly why there’s nothing special about it, instead of just saying so. Inarticulate, unintelligent and lazy writing like this is not criticism.
There’s guys out there like me trying to support the industry anyway we can, in my case through community radio shows (waikekeradio.org.nz, kiwiasradio.co.nz) and here’s a tosser like you trying to bring down one of our best music exports to date, how do you think she’s going feel after reading this piece, I’ll tell you…nothing your a cock and your opinion means nothing!
obviously not the case if you’re going to get all teary eyed about his review.
just cos she’s successful doesn’t mean everyone should like her, or in your world does it?
Shitty music for shitty teenagers who like shitty music.Why review anyway?
“Don’t get signed to a label man they’re evil”
You’re just an oversized Hipster
Anyone actually seen Sweetman play drums or DJ?
Complete shit.
Same with his reviews
Who are you Simon, by the way? never heard of you….
yet here you are reading him. ironic?
Line. Crossed. I’m hoping someone in your life that you listen to (if such a person is in your life) points out that you went too far this time. You don’t have to like her, and can think her music is rubbish. But bro, come on….
First time I read this I thought feisty and fun.
Second reading I’m thinking that he’s got the tone just right. There is nothing to suggest this is artisan song writing and that there is any depth of talent whatsoever, especially when we couple it with the resources clearly afforded her by the record company.
The pop charts are barren of real ability and layered music.
Lorde has not changed that and I do not expect her to.
Is her song writing deep and complex like Kate Bush; Suzanne Vega or Alanis Morisette, or is it catchy and hooky like Britney, Miley and….all the others
So if you care that a 16 year old has made it onto the pop charts then yay for you. You don’t need talent for that just marketing.
If you care about craftsman music then this doesn’t exist and Simon has the honesty and integrity to say it.
dont know the rest of the ep- but love club & royals r great songs-
dont know about the hype- dont care- & i do know that shes 16-
can tell in the slight vocal affectations- mark of insecurity- but heck- amy winehouse was doing worse- & she was in her 20s
And now your the one who looks like a dick for writing something so bitter. Cheer the fuck up who cares, she’s young and having the time of her life. No need to sit here picking at her fame, and making rude remarks.
Who cares. All popular music has serious pr and management behind it, that’s why it’s popular.. the grapevine for music hardly ever extends beyond relatively local groups of friends.. popularity is _almost_ exclusively the domain of marketing muscle.
I don’t disagree with the general sentiment, but I think it’s a waste of time and focus.
Twat.
Twatty
Twatty old fool.
Actually not that old. Just music obsessive with limited understanding and over self importance. Go away Sweatyman.
“What will people write about then? Anything but the music of course” …..which is exactly what you have done in this review, totally ignored the music and focused on hype around her personal life, even made up some bullshit yourself along the way. Learn to review. You’ve clearly missed the point of an E.P review.
Here’s my 2 cents:
Remember last year how we were all fawning over Kimbra? And how the year before that it was the Naked and Famous? Gin Wigmore totally owned it in 2010. Ladyhawke was taking the world by storm in 2009.
Remember how huge Six60, Midnight Youth, Opshop, Evermore and even the Mint Chicks were and how we all expected them to dominate the world over the following year?
Notice how I’m talking in the past tense? Yeah well I kinda expect Lorde to follow a similar route. In truth, I actually quite like what I’ve heard. Nothing too spectacular, but well constructed pop songs with lyrics that aren’t completely asinine are something I can get behind. To be honest though, a part of me wants this album to fall flat a little. Not because I wish her ill will. Quite the opposite in fact. The truth is, if this album takes off and she sweeps every category she is nominated for in the next VNZMA’s, it’s a guaranteed death knell for her career. I would feel bad for an 18 year old kid who’s most exciting days were already behind her, despite the fact that I think that given enough time to develop, she could probably write some truly awesome pop music that actually deserves the level of accolades she is currently receiving.
Sweeters, just to clarify, do the Emperor’s new clothes usually smell of rat or fish? Shouldn’t you be smelling a rat, as Lorde looks as if she is indeed holding one on the EP cover? Or is she playing possum?
I do remember that you got taken in by the smoke and mirrors of Florence and The Machine, so could you be wrong here as well? Could the smoke be masking the rat smell? Are the mirrors reflecting something new, or is there nothing new to see here?
Do you object to the Farmers Catalogue because of all the hipsters in it?
Big questions. Miley Cyrus-sized questions.
She’s number one on Billboard, so why should she give a rat’s?
Yawn. Typical rubbish from a fat loser who knows how to hit the play button on a stereo, but can’t actually play anything himself.
I actually agree that the EP is fairly average. It seems quite clumsy to me. However, it certainly shows her potential (especially lyrically), and Lorde herself publicly criticises aspects of her EP. In my opinion, her latest songs seem much more polished (‘Tennis Court’/’Team’/youtube uploads of her live performances). So I suggest Sweetman writes another blog, after her album has been released, based on the actual songs rather than just his unsupported suspicion that he “smells something fishy” and that there’s “some final twist in the manipulation”. That’s a bit extreme, isn’t it? Give her a chance.
I’d heard the name but never the voice. Royals on Jools was the first time for me, with no preconceptions to mess with my ear or mind. The simplitcy of the drum rhythm added to a wonderfully pitched and timed voice was a joy to my ears. This girl can sing and has presence, few have such a gift. Talent is a beautiful thing to see & hear. If you don’t have it you Blog about it, how sad.
Is there any artist or group that sells a truckload of records, that you actually like????
Is anyone else feeling that ‘guest’ and ‘guest2’ seem like Sweetman defending himself anonymously? Which if true, defending oneself behind the veil of anonymity is not much of a defence.
I actually love this. Thanks Simon.
Shizzz you got some real issues Simon…….How about you stop hating the World and learn to love yourself rather than hating on a poor teenage girl who’s talent has made her known to the World? She’s now topping the billboard charts and has been #1 for five weeks…..so your opinion is nothing…..she’s making millions and your probably at home w***ing on your laptop to some homo porn!…..GET A LIFE!
Huh….how about you crawl under a rock with your opinion you oversized hate the World loser! She’s now been sitting at #1 on the US charts for 5 straight weeks, so your opinion is shit compared to what millions think. Stop hating and appreciate new talent, if it aint your cup of tea then shut the hell up and write a blog on how to lose weight! Rather than crushing a teenagers talent which has been recognised World Wide. You call yourself a critic….of what? Tearing down artists who have spent alot amount of time creating and producing their art and talent. Dont hate but appreciate……if you don’t like their style then write and produce a song that you like and see if it will even make it to the top 40 in NZ…..hate bloggers! If you ain’t got nothing nice to say open up a farmers catalogue and jerk yourself off until you release that loser/hater/jealousy in you! Kiaaaaarnt
2 Grammys nuff said.
It’s like you think it’s cool to hate stuff. It’s not. It’s kinda boring actually.
no Simon….I’m the one. I’m 35 now. but thanks for saying what you needed to say. hmmm mm they fooled the people and she is very sneaky. she is not me.
if you want to know what the twist looks like she looks very close to semajse and she isn’t a myth. she said I ain’t you but they cast me. she’s a wild child and she’s on my lips. this is not me no, I’m sneaky. we fool the people she will see dad cause she’s nice. I was also threatened I think you know. it won’t do anyone any good. there were 100s it did not just go to her. Lana said I wish you would write something happy. I’m like stay away…..stay away.
I was deleted. but have you liked the music all around? not just lorde’s album.
what do you know? what else do you know?
I did not stop I cause I wanted to be heard
don’t shake your head at me….take care. peace
Pingback: Six Terrible Pitches for the Paul Henry Show Replacement | The Spinoff
Pingback: Stubs: #143 – Calexico, Wellington, 2013
Pingback: Check New Lyrics Site
Pingback: Tech SEO Guru
lol