David Foster

Canadian producer, songwriter, composer and Music Business Mogul David Foster is like a Hallmark Greeting Card King of music.  He’s written and produced music by and for Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, Kenny G, Seal, Christina Aguilera and many more. He was there helping to discover the likes of Michael Buble and Josh Groban.

But it doesn’t stop there. And sure didn’t start there.

Just when you think he’s probably one of music’s most loathsome cunts you remember he composed the theme for St. Elmo’s Fire – including the actual song, Man in Motion. And that doesn’t give him a free pass – considering he would go on to make Chocolate Box hits with Diane Warren for far too many mediocre pop balladeers. But hey, the guy knows the business and knows what works and it’s a special skill to tug at heartstrings, to know which buttons (or keys) to push.

And many years ago I would have crucified the naff-ness of this album’s concept if not the execution – it’s called Eleven Words because the eleven instrumentals here are named, one each, for the words he wrote down and then created music hoping to convey each titular mood. They’ve been arranged to spell out Eleven Words as you read them down the tracklisting:
Eleven
Love
Eternity
Victoriious
Elegant
Nobility
Wonderment
Orbiting
Romance
Dreams
Serenity

Not just a loathsome cunt but a cheesy one as well. And a calculating cunt to boot.

But fuck me with a hearth brush and/or shovel if I don’t really love this gushy Piano By Candlelight-vibe.

It’s been rush-released to cash-in (as it were) on the worldwide Lockdown Vibe.

And so, again, I should just chew this up and spit it out – and then stick two fingers down my throat and vomit whatever else I can all over it.

But I find myself rather loving these gentle, gorgeous melodies. Much of it plays out like the rom-com scores Foster has composed and produced throughout his 40+year career. Most of it is probably cynical-as-all-fuck really.

But I’m drawn to solo piano right now – so this bullshit got me at a weak moment.

The tender Victorious is reminiscent of some of Randy Newman’s best instrumental film-score whimsy, Nobility has a touch of repurposed classical music to it, Wonderment feels like it’s been saved from what could have been another OTT Celine Dion ballad, and the closer, Serenity, is basically day-spa gloop. But I’m very happy listening to this. Very happy. And that pisses me off just a bit, yes. Now there’s something in my eye, even. Fucking David Foster.
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