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November 16, 2018 by Simon Sweetman

Sweetman Podcast: Episode 142 – Bronwyn Turei

Welcome to episode 142 of Sweetman Podcast with support from our sponsors – T Leaf T, Yeastie Boys and La Petite Chocolat.

Now – as well as the usual platforms (this site, soundcloud, iTunes/Apple) you can now get to Sweetman Podcast on Spotify – follow it there and have it saved in your Spotify library to access each new episode; or via Anchor/FMyou can get the podcast on Stitcher and other key platforms.

I’ve seen Bronwyn Turei in a bunch of stuff over the last few years – mostly at Circa Theatre, where she’s one of the new mainstays. I’ve also seen her in comedy, drama, musicals, pantomimes – I’ve seen her play different genders, species, ethnicities…and yes, yes, this is all part of the gig really if you want to make it as an actor: You turn up, you do the work. But I’ve been increasingly impressed with Turei’s abilities. So much so I had to talk to her.

She was, you may remember, “Cody” on the popular Go Girls TV show. She was in a band or two as well…

So this was the first time we had properly met and we sat in the main studio of Circa Theatre and had a big ole chat about life and art; the serious work of being well-versed in the theatre and the attitude and commitment it takes to succeed.

Bronwyn is refreshingly honest about the steps its taken, the sacrifices; her approach is one of total focus, commitment, drive. And if – as has happened along the way – it means working a full-time job elsewhere, or a part-time job to top up the funds, so be it.

I really loved this chat; a big ramble about all things art and life and theatre, acting, music…

I hope you enjoy it too.

Here now is episode 142 of Sweetman Podcast – my chat with Bronwyn Turei
You can support Off The Tracks via PressPatron

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November 15, 2018 by Simon Sweetman

Poem: Cunt Hunt

Remember “Cunt
Hunt”, he said.

And he said it
like it was a kick-ass
Beastie Boys song or
a Tarantino flick, or some
must-see TV show from back
in the weekly episodic daze…

but I did remember it.
Remembered it – sadly – so well.

We were having a party. Some guy’s
birthday. And I’d made all these
mixtapes of 80s bangers…

There was beer on the floor and
heads were being held high and it
was all on.

There was just one problem – well, there
was, of course, plenty more. But one
dude was sure there was only (ever)
one issue.

This was the worst sausage-fest of all time.

So to remedy it, or to at least draw the most
attention to the predicament. He started a
low, slow chant.

“Cunt hunt. Cunt Hunt. CUNT HUNT!”

And from a lone voice to a
hideous drunk choir.

“Cunt hunt. Cunt Hunt. CUNT HUNT!”

Someone skulled a pint of vodka and
fell on the floor.

“Cunt hunt. Cunt Hunt. CUNT HUNT!”

Someone pissed his pants – proudly – in
front of everyone.

“Cunt hunt. Cunt Hunt. CUNT HUNT!”

A bottle through the window.
Just: because.

“Cunt hunt. Cunt Hunt. CUNT HUNT!”

Bruce Springsteen’s Born In The USA
cranking in the background…

“Cunt hunt. Cunt Hunt. CUNT HUNT!”

(And you were the only one thinking that song
had been misappropriated before…)

“Cunt hunt. Cunt Hunt. CUNT HUNT!”

Then, like a wolf howling at the top of the pack
he broke up the chant

(“Cunt hunt. Cunt Hunt. CUNT HUNT!”)

To shout: “Some fucking bitches better show
up soon, fucking anything, any fucking cunt
will do, some horrible cunt, just any
cunt – I really don’t care…”

They were braying beneath him, holding him
aloft. This is how bad goes to worse. This is
the fucking pits. This was the house where you
lived…

But just as he’d finished shouting his demands
and the chorus gave it one final sing-song burst:

“Cunt hunt. Cunt Hunt. CUNT HUNT!”

his girlfriend walked in. And wrinkled her nose.
Screwed up her face, whilst turning the other cheek.

The wolf…suddenly sheepish.

“They’re a bad influence honey….”, he
said with a smirk. She nestled in under his
arm – and it seemed both got their wish.

The hunt was over. They’d each
found what they were looking for.

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November 14, 2018 by Simon Sweetman

The 1001 Albums Challenge # 100: Cocteau Twins – “Treasure”

Another one here, a common theme in the early 80s material of this book, where I’ll tell you I’m a bit of a fan of the band – in this case Cocteau Twins. And yet I’ve never owned any of the original albums; haven’t even heard that many…

But I do know their music. And their influence. And I have listened to a lot of stuff connected to and stemming from – I’m all over Robin Guthrie’s ambient releases and collaborations; which I love.

And of course Elizabeth Fraser did her stint with Massive Attack. And appeared on a few other great tracks. (Craig Armstrong, among others…) Read More »

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November 13, 2018 by Simon Sweetman

Rosanne Cash: She Remembers Everything

Rosanne Cash

She Remembers Everything

Blue Note

Rosanne Cash had a terrific 1980s – wonderful albums, bursting out of the gates, there was country legacy in her sound (she had the name of course but straight away proved she had plenty more besides). But she added aspects of the time, the rockabilly revival and shades of the new wave – just a total class act. Read More »

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November 12, 2018 by Simon Sweetman

DVD Review: Jumanji Welcome To The Jungle – Reviewed by Oscar Sweetman (age 7)

Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle
Director: Jake Kasdan
Columbia Pictures

Reviewed by Oscar Sweetman (age 7)

Hi guys, it’s me – Oscar. I am seven now, and it’s time for a new review. As promised I’m going to talk about Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle.

On one picture it says 12+ for the age – but that doesn’t mean you have to be 12 to read this review. But if you’ve seen it, it will make more sense.

I am lucky because when I was like, 6 and a half, Dad let me watch it because my friends who are nearly 12 and had seen the first one wanted to watch it. It was in the adult’s corner of our video store.

So, there are people who get detention and they play a video game and choose their characters. ‘Fridge’ chose ‘Mouse Finbar’, Spencer chose ‘Dr Bravestone’, Martha chose ‘Ruby Roundhouse’, Bethany chose ‘Shelly Oberon’ and it’s funny because Bethany is a woman but Professor Shelly Oberon is played by Jack Black – so it means she turns into a man.

When they play the game they get sucked right into it – and are living in the game and become their avatars that they chose. And if you lose a tattoo it means you’re in danger, and when you lose all of them you die in the game.

So, Jack Black loses one at the beginning because he gets eaten by a rhino and fell out of the sky.

Ruby Roundhouse is in love with Spencer.
She fights the men – and she is really good at fighting!

Because they need to distract her, and I think they are getting the plane to get the jewel to put it up in the bizarre to go up a level and win the game. When you see the elephant you begin the climb.

There’s a gross bit where Kevin Hart pulls a tooth out of a snake’s mouth and the people who Ruby is fighting are friends with Bobby Cannavale – he is a baddie! There is a violent bit at the end where he wants the jewel. He goes, “Give me the jewel or your friend dies”, and he puts the gun on him, ready to shoot him if he doesn’t give him the jewel. And then he goes, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1” and then Kevin Hart comes out on an animal and calls him a “Zoology B-word”. (The one that rhymes with witch). There’s also the ‘Sh’-word in it. And I don’t mean…”Shhhh”.

The note on the movie-cover is “PG: Violence. Coarse Language. And Sexual References”. Violence means fighting and beating people up. Coarse language means swear words like the ‘B-word’ and the ‘S-word’ and sexual references means k-i-s-s-i-n-g…

There’s another violent bit where Dwayne Johnson calls Kevin Hart a “dumb-ass” and then pushes him off a cliff, and just like Jack Black, he falls 100m out of the school. Kevin Hart says “I could kick the sh… out of you right now”. And then Dwayne Johnson says, “I’d like to see you try”. And then after he falls from the sky he goes, “don’t you call me a dumb-ass and don’t you push me” and then Kevin Hart goes, “Or what, Spencer?” And he says, “Or I’ll push you back”. And then he whacks him in the face but Dwayne Johnson is used to it because he is really good at fighting. And then he pushes him back and he falls on to the back of the cliff and he goes, “Aaaargh, what the hell??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

After Jack Black gets eaten by the rhino they run away from the rhino and see the car, ad then Rhys Darby tell them all about it and says the Bizarre is where they put the jewel to save Jumanji. They climb up to put the jewel at the top and call out its name and look for the missing piece…they think it’s the missing piece of a map but it’s actually a human. And he’s been stuck in the game for 20 years.

I would give it four and a half stars out of five because at the end when they turn back into humans, after the game, it’s a bit boring. But that’s not the main bit of the story. It’s mostly really great.

So that’s our review, guys. I promised the next review would be Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 and then Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone and then the pantomime, Puss in Boots and then The Simpsons Movie. I will also review Kiwi Christmas, the New Zealand movie. Then Despicable Me
and then Horrid Henry

Bye guys, I hope you liked this review. Check out the film. I think you’ll really like it. But if you’re less than 12 ask your mother!
You can support Off The Tracks via PressPatron

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November 12, 2018 by Simon Sweetman

Short Story: Sit Down Young Stranger

(aka: If You Could Read My Mind…I Wouldn’t Have Needed to Write This…)

Some endings are too hard to take, he said, right at the start.

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November 11, 2018 by Simon Sweetman

Wellington Film Society: Preview – The Selfish Giant (November 12)

The Wellington Film Society is heading into its final few weeks for 2018. Last week it was Fireworks Wednesday, this week we’re in the world of Oscar Wilde, or at the least inspired by his words with this take on The Selfish Giant.
Actually, this Iranian film from 2006 is – literally – about fireworks; though it’s a new year celebration rather than any acknowledgment of old Guido Fawkes… Read More »

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November 9, 2018 by Simon Sweetman

The Vinyl Countdown # 361

Head Like A Hole, 13 (1993)
Last year Head Like A Hole decided to release their debut full-lengther and take it on tour – I missed the show, but didn’t miss getting the LP. I love the band – their best work still stands and they’re always a good live show. I’ve seen them a bunch of times and will always try to get along. But I wasn’t in town when they first started, the 13 era and the even earlier years…but I do remember, fondly, hearing Fish Across Face and sorta wondering what the fuck I was hearing (and seeing) – but in the best possible way. I’ve been on board since then. And though I think the band should have moved to Las Vegas and got a residency in a dive bar 20 years ago (they’d be playing there still, nailing it) I’m also glad they’re ours to keep. Booga even signed my copy of this album. Shot! Read More »

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November 9, 2018 by Simon Sweetman

Sweetman Podcast: Episode 141 – Gerry Paul

Welcome to episode 141 of Sweetman Podcast with support from our sponsors – T Leaf T, Yeastie Boys and La Petite Chocolat.

Now – as well as the usual platforms (this site, soundcloud, iTunes/Apple) you can now get to Sweetman Podcast on Spotify – follow it there and have it saved in your Spotify library to access each new episode; or via Anchor/FMyou can get the podcast on Stitcher and other key platforms.

I reckon Gerry Paul was one of the first people I asked to be on the podcast…back some three years ago. I would bump into him – he’s always on the run, between gigs, between albums, either playing a show, or making sure someone else is… Read More »

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November 8, 2018 by Simon Sweetman

The 1001 Albums Challenge # 99: Echo & The Bunnymen – “Porcupine”

I like Echo & The Bunnymen – and I know a lot of the band’s music now. But, albums-wise, I kinda started in the middle of their discography, reform/comeback-era, Evergreen. And then I went back to the start.

But I mostly know them from a handful of great singles – including The Cutter – and from a compilation and from their cover of The Doors’ People Are Strange from The Lost Boys soundtrack. That might be where I first heard them, actually.

But yeah, anyway, had never heard this album – but easily won over as I’m already on board. Saw the band live a few years back. And enjoyed the live album from the start of the big comeback years. Love the first two records. And now this. And also, now I’m going to go track down Evergreen and go back to that… Read More »

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November 7, 2018 by Simon Sweetman

Poem: The Appearance of Disappearance

To pack a bag, and run
away – but just for a day, there’s
a job to do, and bills to pay, and
other things to do –

that’s the current dream. What a
day for a daydream…

I’m lost in a daydream

looking for my heart in any
old art. This

will
have
to do.

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November 4, 2018 by Simon Sweetman

The Vinyl Countdown # 362

Soft Cell, Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret (1981)
What kind of record collection doesn’t have Soft Cell’s version of Tainted Love in it? Er, mine! (Until just very recently). Look, I maybe even do have it somewhere, on a compilation, and it’s slipped my mind, but it was certainly a plan to get the original/official album at some point. And though I do like Soft Cell – it took me until very recently to even hear the album – it was in fact, as part of my lunacy that is going through the 1001 Albums book and listening to anything I hadn’t previously heard that I first heard Soft Cell’s Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret. Then, just a few days later I saw a nice copy of the album in the store, tucked it aside and went back to it. I knew some of the songs on this album already – not just Tainted – because I had owned some sort of Best Of on CD and because David Bloody Gray covered one, and so on…but geez, fuck, it really is a great album. And so it’s good to (finally have heard it and) have it. Read More »